Sunday, March 29, 2009
maybe we expect too much out of sumthing simple..so we get disappointed when it doesnt happen..
maybe we gave ourselves the wrong impression of how it will be..
and when it doesnt happen, we get disappointed..
maybe we put too much hopes on it and assume that that is how it would be..
and so we didnt bother to put the hard work in..
maybe if we bother to just think about it for another min,
we would have seen that mistake coming..
or maybe we've been trying too hard to make it work,
that it came out the opposite way..
maybe we knew all along that it wun work..
but still insist on trying..
wats the point of doing it when we know it wun work
maybe it cos we needed sum kind of prove..
wats the point of trying so hard,
when its not going to work anyway..
i guess its that process of learning that is worth is..
idk wat the crap am i trying to say.. maybe i'm too bored.......
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
4:33 PM
Saturday, March 28, 2009
pain is all over me.. :'( fear is all over me.. :'(worries are all over me.. :'( lots and lots of them.. :'(
i'm losing myself.. :'( i'm losing this battle.. :'(
where am i going to look for anymore courage.. i'm to scare to carry on..
how to live properly when i have to feel fear all the time..
wo zhen de hen pa... wo mei you yong qi le.. zhe me ban :'(
wats wrong with me.. i really dunno.. am i going crazy?..
maybe its cos of all the fear.. but how to erase these fear..
ahhhhh.. wat the crap.. i'm mad.. guess i'll end here..
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
12:49 AM
Saturday, March 21, 2009
got back results today.. so so ba.. know my own limits. better dun expect so much...all the stress, all the pressure.. it just keeps adding and adding.. i'm going crazy..
i hate the me here...
cos she doesnt wan to pick herself up anymore..
everytime she picks herself up she falls down again...
too many scars permanent in her...
its like a cycle repeating itself...
get up then fall down again..
how many more falls can the me here take...
i feel like crying.. u can always not reply if u dun wan.. i dun deserve such replies.. i didnt do anything wrong.. my heart is crying... my heart is crying... crying alot... its has broke to too many pieces... i dun wan to pick them up anymore.. let the wind blow it away... i dun wan to cry anymore.. but i keep crying.. i dont know how much more can i hold.. :'( :'( :'(
ithinki'mgoingtosnapsoon...
inidashouldertocryon..
cryandcryuntilmytearsrundry...
but i did learn things from all the falls.. its just that............
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
12:09 AM
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Just came back from ee foc trail camp.. quite sian.. but not too bad.. aching shoulders and legs.. lol.. dun think i'll explain in detail wat happen.. i'll just random.. lol.. see wat i feel like typin.. and that update another time.. cos my mind now.. really cnt work very well now.. slpy~ the pics below were taken with my hp..see they're the opposite of each other.. lol.. hei bai liang dao also went for the camp.. lol.. this was taken on the first day..
we slept at the loft for the 2 nites.. it was dam nice! this is a view from the loft balcony in our room.. the first 2 below is taken from the 10th floor.. the third one is from the 8th floor... we move down cos they say that our door's lock has spoilt..
cool~
another angle...
i took this the 2nd morning from our room...
lol.. and look at wat this 3 were doing on chenchian's bed...
and then it became 4 ppl.. this time on my bed.. lol.. this is take 1
take 2...
take 3.. lol... see! he's smiling.. he must be enjoying himself.. lol..
and after that.. lol.. emo? or maybe hai shao? lol.. but sumhow i like this pic..
this pics were taken on the 3rd day after we brk camp.. we stayed back to paint our tribe's flag... and it went thru the cloth and got on the table.. looks cool and nice.. lol.. these pics were taken by serene.. =)take 1...
take 2...
well.. i guess i'll end here.. i'm going to slp.. i nid it.. lol.. will blog more bout this camp when i feel like it or if i can get more photos of it.. bye readers =)
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
11:37 PM
Thursday, March 05, 2009
dam sian so i'm here to blog but dunno wat to blog.. haiz.. sum how i'm emo.. sum how i'm irritated..wat the crap is wrong with u.. u attitude me for wat.. kns i nv do anything wrong to u to deserve that lor.. u idiot.. i'm not ur freaking toy u noe.. u happy happy tok to me, happy happy attitude me.. wat the crap is this.. if this frenship means nothing to you.. can u pls tell me.. dun make me waste my time thinking wat the crap is wrong.. i'll freaking go crazy la..
and a few days ago.. my stupid neighbour.. she freaking rolled her eyes at me la.. from downstair.. wat the crap is wrong with her.. idiot.. i hope her eyeballs drop out the next time she rolled her eyes at me.. or better it gets stuck at that position forever.. (i'll laugh sia if that happen.. lol..) kns.. its not totally my fault that she lose out when she came up and quarrel with me.. sum how i was unreasonable.. pls lor.. she was not freaking reasonable also lor..
and why the crap am i being scolded sia.. i didnt do anything wrong also.. wat in the world is wrong.. can sumone pls tell me y do i have to go thru all this.. can sumone explain to me the reason behind me going thru all this.. is there suppose to be a purpose in making me go thru all this.. :'(
seriously i'm at the edge of snapping.. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
lastly sumthing to be happy about.. i have great frens.. am thankful that i met them =)
idunnoyiwillfallforyou..
isthereanywaytochangeit..
u'llnvbemine..
i'mgoingtosufferagain.. =(
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
12:51 AM
