Saturday, November 22, 2008
it's weird bout wats happening.. is it good? or is it bad? y izzit that wat i wan nv happens to me.. oh well.. but its ok for now.. my life is quite exciting now.. lol..tok to sheena bout my life.. and it got me thinkin..
if my life was a show... it would be series 2 now.. but series 2 of poly life only.. if its my whole life.. it should be so much more than that... if my whole life until now was witten into a book.. i think there will be bout 8 bks now.. just look at how messy my life is.. u will understand.. haiz..
how am i goin to make myself happier when everytime i look at ur msn nick, my heart hurts cos i noe u'll nv be mine.. :( but as long u're happy.. i'm happy for u..
y izzit that everytime i see sumthing bad in other ppl's blog i feel that its tokin bout me... haiz..
well ytd our class celebrated hannah's and limin's bd in advance..
the bd girls =)
hannah and limin cuttin the cake..
limin's cake..
hannah's cake..
well i guess that's all for now..
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
10:53 PM
Friday, November 14, 2008
i didnt do like wat i sad in one of my previous post said.. about leaving the frenship as it is.. i didnt wan to give up on it so i tried again.. but it seems like nothin i'm doin is working.. its all dam weird... i'm worrying more than i should be.. it shouldnt be like this... i dunno wats happening to me.. its like i'm tryin to push it away now.. i'm doin the opp of wat i'm suppose to do.. i'm dam emo now.. i dunno y..anyway, it was jiajun's bd ytd.. and the class bout a cake for him..
this is the cake...
and this is him eating the cake.. lol..
and here's a video i took while serene and yeeteng bought the cake in for him =)
it reminded me of my bd.. was dam happy that day.. and thinking bout it now.. the memory is still as sweet as before... =)
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
12:19 AM
Sunday, November 09, 2008
i've made another blog for myself with livejournal.. so now i'll have to manage 2 blogs =.=.. lol.. cos i dun bear to close this one down.. too much memories.. happy or sad.. they are all part of my memories.. so i'll try to update both blog as often as i can with diff stories to tell each..Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
10:34 PM
Saturday, November 08, 2008
its obvious that i was forcing things.. this friendship wasnt meant to be how i wan it to be... i was the one hoping that it would be how i wan it to be.. so i keep forcing that information into my brain.. but it seems like no matter wat i do it wun turn out wat i wan it to be... maybe its time i put a stop to this and let it just stay as it is.. it wun help if i keep focing also.. it takes 2 hands to clap.. both parties must wan it to be like that then it would be like that.. so i'm leaving it as it is.. its wat u say today that made me realise it.. u only make frens with me for the sake of it.. if u r goin to do sumthing for me and is not at ur own will... its wrong then.. well u said sumthing sumhow like that and shouldnt be like wat u say.. thats not how true friendship should be.. so i'm leavin it as it is.. unless sumhow sumthing changes.. if not we'll nv become close frens.. it wun wk.. [nvm.. its not that i dun have close frens, just tot that u could be 1 of them too.. and seems like i'm wrong...] and i'm writin all this here cos i noe the person wun bother to read my blog..Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
1:37 AM
Friday, November 07, 2008
i dunno wat went wrong with me today... I SNAPPED!!! and it went on for bout 1 hr.. was dam tired after that... sumthing have been wrong since ytd liao.. i was dam lost the whole day.. i dunno where my mind is at all.. its just wondering everywhere... i spend my whole day making sure i had stuff to do so i wun think of the things that was makin me go crazy... then today.. was totally siao in the morning liao.. but i didnt wan to snap so fast... was just hoping i could control until it passes.. but it seems like i cant.. i snap the moment i reach sch... so i went to class put down my bag and went to the toilet.. and in the end i didnt attend the first leson at all... lol... the moment i went in to the toilet, the tears started coming out already... didnt wan to be alone.. so i called serene with my phone and she came to the toilet to accompany me.. [tks serene.. =)] and in the end she nv attend the first lesson also.. [sry..] and she came super fast... its like i just put down the phone only and she come in.. shes a really nice person.. i cried harder when she came.. but it seems like the harder i cry.. the deeper the pain gets.. i dunno y.. then after a while wenny came.. and she stayed there a while with me to console me then she went to class put her bag and came back to the toilet again... she too nv attend the first lesson bcoz of me.. [i feel so bad.. that both of them didnt attend the lesson bcoz of me... so sry..] then after a while hannah and larissa came in.. and the both of them also stayed in the toilet until the lesson end then went back.. they say they would only go back if i went back to the class too.. but i dun think i need the rest of the class to see me in such a state ba.. lol.. then sheena came in.. and we stayed there until the lesson end... then we went back to take our bags when yeeteng told us that the teacher have left the class... then we went to canteen... then ael lecture... then those who are in the 2nd shift for the lab test went to our space to slack until when it was time for our eeps lab test.. i didnt noe wat i was doin during the test also.. was lost.. lol... so i've no idea if wat i was doin was rite anot.. lol.. then went to lvl 5 of blk 23 for a while then went to c1 then went hm...i'm lucky that i have such nice friends... =) they are my source of comfort that my life isnt that bad..
it seems like i'm mad.. i get pissed of so dam easily nowadays.. little little stuff will make me piss off.. and i'm starting doubt if i can trust sumone.. i dunno y.. i wan to trust this person... but.. i dunno i'm scare i guess.. i trust wrong ppl too many times.. i dun wan to feel that pain again...
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
10:31 PM
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
"I hate the me who's bad tempered... I hate the me who hate someone else... I hate the me who's afraid of wats may happen next... I hate the me who thinks negatively... I hate the me who complain... I hate the me who cries... I hate the me who wants to give up... I hate the me who breaks other ppl hearts... i hate everything bout me.. i'm the worst person in the world.."-->This was wat i was thinkin when i was crying today.. =(
i dunno why was i thinkin of all that.. my life has been a rollar coaster ride =.= i dunno if its good or bad.. but i'll tell myself that maybe its better than a boring one.. so at least i wun feel so bad.. my life's not that bad.. its just a little weird?.. i dunno.. different from usual?... i really dunno... i'm kind of tired of tryin to convince myself all this every now and then =.=
things are changing.. to the better or worst.. i dunno.. i just noe its changin... even i have changed.. and i dunno wat have i become now.. good? bad?... i dunno.. there are just too much qns in me that have no ans.. ppl change and can do it in just one *snap*...
anyway, today i found sumthing funny during the dep practical lesson... lol..
haha.. i told yeeteng bout it when i saw it and she ask me to take photo of it.. i only realise it today even though i use this thing last week too.. lol..
the CPf board send a letter to my hse the other day... they spelt my name wrongly =.=" since it's from the govt, shouldnt they check it before they type it down.. =.=" even though most of teachers pronounce my name wrongly but at least the attendance list spells it correctly...
today i realise sumthing.. lol.. pls dun tell me its goin to be a start of that headaches all over again =.=
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
2:04 PM
Sunday, November 02, 2008
ever felt that a frenship with one of ur fren wun last?... well i do now.. and it feels crap... i dun like that feeling.. cos its just telling me no matter wat i do wun help to let this frenship move on.. stupid rite?... lol.. kind of sad cos i do hope it'll last.. but this is not the first time i feel this way towards this frenship i'm thinkin about.. its just that last time i choose not to think about it so much and hope that maybe if i try to make it work it wun end.. but it seems like no matter wat i do, its not working =.= ... maybe i shouldnt try anymore?.. or i should have trusted this feeling from the very first time i felt it was ending... actually i dunno y i wan it to last also.. maybe i'm mad.. i expected too much out of it.. my fault.. sad.. but its also that other person fault sumhow.. cos that person shouldnt have promise me that that person will be able to wat a best fren can do when the person actually cannot.. its sad to feel this way... and to think of wat that person once say.. y did u promise me things u cant do... =(Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
1:56 PM
