Thursday, October 09, 2008
its 4 more days b4 the next sem starts.. lol..i totally snap the day b4 ytd.. i was crying like mad.. it was sumhow more of fear that brought out my tears instead of sadness.. even thought its part of it too... lucky no one saw me.. i couldnt stop myself.. i dunno y.. so i decided that maybe tokin to sumone would help.. lol.. the funny thing i i unno who to call when i took out my phone.. i only noe that no matter who i call the person may freak out hearing me cry like this... and in the end i did call sumone.. and i was rite.. after i put down the phone... i was able to make myself calm down.. sumtimes i wonder y i'm like this.. i cant seem to fig it out other than i'm useless?.. i dunno.. sumtimes i guess i just nid a break from all this happenin in my life.. its gettin abit too much for me to take.. it has been like this since i understand wat is happenin around me.. -.- i'm totally tired.. maybe snapping a little sumtimes is not a bad thing.. i dunno wat more must i do b4 everyone around me will be happy... all i noe now is that i cant make 2 parites statisfy at the same time.. and its makin me sad..
well nothing is perfect and all i can do now is be as positive as i can.. or at the very least try to make myself happy abit... it sure is better to be smiling than crying.. lol.. not that my life is dam sad now and that i dun smile or laugh at all.. but sumtimes i just smile to just cover up my sadness i wouldnt mind if i could have more laughter that comes truly from my heart.. lol.. maybe its my way of looking at things.. i tend to look at all the negative side of things and hardly ever the positive.. cos even if i do.. i convince myself that positive stuff may not happen to me.. lol..
but even though after all i've gone true.. i'm still consider a happy person.. lol.. at least i think i am.. i've learn alot thru all this... like not all things would turn out the way i wan them to be.. and when it happens the opposite way i wan them to be all i can do is try my best to accept it.. sumtimes it isnt that bad after i've accept it.. its just a different outcome.. and if the ppl involve are happy with it then maybe wat i really wanted was not that impt..
now i'm doing sumthing that is making me happy... lol.. i'm reading.. lol.. well not that readin anything will make me happy... but i'm readin sumthing i like... haha.. well, actually i finish reading all the bks from the twilight series that i have but i decide to re read it.. cos its DAM NICE... lol.. i love the story so so much.. i've spend almost everyday reading at about 3-5 hrs for the last 3 wks(?) or maybe more... lol.. i cant rmb when i started reading like this.. lol.. i nv really realise how much i love(or would like) readin until now.. lol.. well, maybe its cos i like the story also.. i tend to be more willing to read/do sumthing when i like wat i'm doin/readin.. and will be totally not willing to do it if i dun like it at all.. lol.. i MUST watch this movie when its out.. lol.. but it will only be out in dec in sg.. -.- awww... the waiting process is going to be terrible.. lol.. well back to readin.. i think i've blog enough for now.. lol..
but b4 i go.. i wan to say tks to the ppl who were concern about me that day.. TKS ALOT=) i dun think i have to mention who ba.. ur noe who u r.. =)
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
2:58 PM
