Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I didn't choose my family to be like this... Y do ur keep scolding me... Its not that i don't feel any pain when i look at my own family... I'm not that heartless... If i was then i wun be crying now... U dun know how much pain i'm going thru... U dun know how much i envy other ppl with happy family... Ur dun know that every word ur say hurts alot... In ur eyes i'm forever useless... U nv like anything i do... No matter how much i make an effort to let my exams pass... Its still not good enough for u... Do u know how much i wan a happy family also... But its just impossible... And my memories with my family being happy tgt is also zero... All thats left are photos which my mum has cut some of them... I can still rmb the time when i was nearly knock by a car... She nv even show concern for me and still let her stupid bf scold me saying that i was stupid to stand there... Sometimes i think that maybe it would be better if the car knock me down... Its like i'm so not wanted in this world... How can every wrong thing in the family that happen be my fault... Even if i nv do anything wrong also scold me... Because no matter wat, to ur, everything i do is wrong... Nothing i do will ever be rite to ur... I keep telling myself i must try to understand ur all de feelings... If it makes ur happy when u scold me then i let ur scold... Even if i nv do anything wrong also i let ur scold me... So i'll just force myself to think that maybe somehow its my fault... Maybe i should be scolded... Maybe i deserve to be like this... :'(Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
2:28 PM
