Monday, March 27, 2006
i'm really very moody today... i really wanted to scold some ppl just now... firstly... during maths today we had free time... coz teacher didn't come... i took out my phone to listen to song... someone say want to listen also so i let her listen to one earpiece and went to sleep... hehe... when i woke up she was holdin my phone... i was really pist off u know... i really wanted to scold her... but i control... haiz... nvm... so to this person... pls next time b4 u use my phone ASK FIRST... i really will scold u the next time u do that... or even worst i will just slap u... this is a warning... don't say i nv give u warning... then the rest of the day went quite well... i ended up crying again after school... haiz... so much for trying to be happy... talk to some teachers then went to have lunch with my junior... then went to look for the dance studio key... left my bag inside and went off to the library... didn't feel like opening the door later so went to canteen to give the key to SW but can't find him so i just give it to WS... after a while want to take something then went down to take the stupid key again... so tired from all the running... haiz... then went for choir... nv really feel so moody there... don't know y... i just seem to be able to get myself out of the depressing state... lol... but its true... not lying... choir was ok today... nothing special happen today... oh ya... i rmb... i scream at my juniors today cos i was very angry with them when all of them started to talk at the same time... make me so... arrr... don't know how to say lah... know i shouted very loud... coz after that ask WS got hear mah... he say got... erm... anyway... all i want to say is that i'm sorry for shouting at ur like that... didn't do it on purpose.... erm... guess thats all i can say le... and one last thing... i'm moving away from my this hse le... so won't be able to use com so often liao... won't get to be online almost everyday le... haiz... sad...Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
8:32 PM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
haiz... i really very sad this few days... :'( i really feel very lost now... feel very guilty very bad.... i really wish all this have nv happen in my life... i started feelin like this since friday... i just kept on crying... suddenly i feel that wanted to talk to someone... so i decided to call YZ... felt much better after talkin to her for bout 1 hour... after i came home went online saw WS online... tell him i felt sad... then he tell me don't be sad... lol... nv expect to hear that from him actually... but everytime i think bout it again now i will start to cry again... :'( today suddenly break down again... :'( and don't know y... i just suddenly want to talk to LJ... so i call her... i just kept on cryin when i heard her voice... coz i didn't know wat to say... and i really cannot say it... i really don't know y... i have to go thru all this at this time... i really don't know how much more i can take anymore... haiz... :'( but really happy to know that there are still frenz there for me to look for when i need them... thanks...Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
11:12 PM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
haiz... today is the second day of school... so sian... i don't know y i feel so tired... ytd in my was like 3 person birthday lei... hehe... we celebrated mr goh birthday for him after choir... it was all plan out on saturday that we wanted to do it... to get bd card and cake... we stared choir like normal except that the conductors were late coz they had to go to another school to help out for syf... it was bout 4 something when we were ask to spilt for sectionals... and ask to sign for the card that we are going to give to mr goh... then i recieve a msg that says both of our conductors are comin back now at bout 4.08... i showed it to the rest of the committee and all of us keep on telling the others to faster sign the card... but the conductors came back b4 we were even able to finish signin it... sinne quickly rush in to hide the cake and tammy ask for somemore time to have sectionals so that we can finish signin the card... and so at the end of the practice we took out the cake, light candles, give him the card and everything... well could say it all went well... at least no mistake was made... but there shouldn't be any rite... hehe... lol... but anyway... happy birthday to the 3 ppl who had their bd ytd... (i'm sure u know who i'm talkin about... lol) haiz... ytd was the first day of school after the 1 week holidays... i think i spend about 10 hrs in the school... haiz... so sian lor... 1st day lei... but nvm... i 'yuan yi' one... 'wei le wo de' cca 'wo yuan yi liu xia'... hehe... today actually got maths lesson after school de... but cancel le... but i didn't want to go home so early so i stay in school to wait for my fren to finish her after lesson then go back together... it started to rain after her lesson le... so we took 162 instead of walkin thru the park... hehe... then at the bus stop my senior sayc that she feels that its funny i'm good with my this fren i was waitin for cos i'm in sec 4 and she is sec 1... lol... funny thing to hear but its kind of true somehow also... hehe... we alight the bus at AMK central then she walk home and i took 853 lor... lol... after came home... got tired so i fell asleep when i was watchin tv... just now suddenly got headache... also don't know y... lol... haiz... don't know wat to say le...On sunday... i went out with my fren lor... went to 4 places in like a short time... erm... went to cin, heeren, j8 then AMK central... haiz... was kind of tired from all the walkin... but i enjoyed my day lah...
guess thats all i can say le... update next time ba...
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
9:34 PM
Saturday, March 18, 2006
haiz... nothin much to say bout today actually... oz i whole day at home very sian... lol... haiz... don't feel like stayin at home tmr... want to go out but don't know want go where lei... haiz... don't know y kind of got a bad feelin bout school re open... i think my life is goin to be livin hell... if someone i made angry don't forgive me... haiz...In the meantime here's a story for ur to read taken from somewhere...
He met her on a party.
She was so outstanding, many guys Chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home....
suddenly he asked the waiter. "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee. "
Everybody stared at him, so strange!
His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.
She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby?
He replied: "When I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee.
Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there".
While saying that, tears filled his eyes.
She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart.
A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home.
Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date.
She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful.
He was such a good person but she almost missed him!
Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...
And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which says: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie.
This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee.
Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.
I never thought that could be the start of our communication!
I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.
Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.
But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life!
Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you.
Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life.
If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.
Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON!!!!
Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
Treasure wat u ve.. n dun search 4 sumting which is oredi.
and so thats all... nice story rite... lol... anyway will post more if i can find them... gtg...
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
10:24 PM
Friday, March 17, 2006
Ok... so i admit wat happen ytd was my fault... coz my phone got cut offf and i nv contact every single person who needs to know that... so it cause the misunderstandin that happen ytd... and it ends up that i nv help out in the exchange at all... haiz... i'm sorry...So there's choir today... everything went well... we had practice then games i played with 2 of their games cos they held it in the dance studio... where theres no sun... lol... got our choir t-shirt today... don't quite like the material actually... lol... but overall its still ok lah... the clothes.. is just nice... but my head too big le... so very hard to wear the shirt... hehe... at least better than the last one i got... lol... i tot there would be committee meetin today but there is not... lol... i had the like so prepare to be scolded xin qing le... but no meetin... hehe... guess i worried for nothin le... lol...
when i went home today... go shocked coz hse no electric at all... nearly faint when i got into the hse... later then i found out is outside the thing the problem... not my hse de...
k, so 2 ppl got angry with me today... its like a pattern... everyday ppl will get angey with me... haiz... me and my big mouth... all my fault... sorry to everyone involve in this matter today... i'm really really sorry... especially to 'u'... ('u' should know who u r) haiz... and so i cried again today... terrible life i lead...
all i can say now is i made the wrong decision from the start... guess i just wasn't thinkin when it all happen... haiz... but ppl make mistakes so all i can do now is to learn from my mistakes and finish up wat i have started... even if it means losin u... haiz... :'(
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
9:53 PM
Thursday, March 16, 2006
so i'm here to update bout my day today...erm... when i woke up today i was shocked... coz i woke up late... so i also reach school late lor... i'm sorry bout this... then we had warm up... then after the PSS choir came and we had to move to the ava room from the dance studio... i had to ran around to look for the key to lock the dance studio... sian sia... then the president of the our choir introduce our choir committee...then the PSS choir introduce their choir committee... after that, we all went to somewhere near the central staircase to play games... i did join them for bout 5 minsbut after that my hand started to itch so i didn't continue to play... one of my seniors also left the games and went home for some reasons... haiz... after that we had refreshments... i went and talk to hannah and i cried... haiz...(update more bout y later) after refreshment we went back to the ava room to watch a advertisment... it was cool... haha... then we did warm ups and... then it was our turn to perform for PSS choir... after our performance the PSS choir had to choose a song they want to learn from the 3 songs we sang... they choose a merry madrigal...so we split up for sectionals.. the altos stayed in the ava... the sop went to the dance studio and the baritone went to the foyer... and the strange thing is that the dance studio door was spoilt when we went there... (haha... guess i miss the top part of wat happen so i'm not sure wat happen...) after we finish learnin the front part of it... we went back to the ava room and had a combine practice... then PSS choir perform for us... but half way thru their performance we were ask to go and take our bags in the dance studio coz the door can't be locked... after the PSS choir perform... we gave out souvenirs to the PSS choir... and i took one of it also... coz i feel that its very nice... hehe..then PSS choir gave us something in return... and finally everything was over... its go home time... hehe... i'm really happy that i came for this x-change... i learn alot from it... i would like to thank the games i/c for plannin the games... the food i/c for gettin the food ready... the logistic i/c for doin the souvenirs...and of coz the conductors mr goh and mr ong for takin time off to plan this x-change... and to the rest of the committee i'm sorry coz i know i nv do anything much for this x-change...now to say wat i feel bout this x-change... personally i feel that this is not the 'li xiang' kind of x-change we should have... it was not really organize... and k its my fault... sorry... everything is my fault... was actually lookin forward to this x-change coz its the first time we r hostin... and i get to see mr ong... hehe...
and for the reason i cry is that... i feel some ppl there didn't really want me there... somethings that thay say just made me sad... haiz... so i decided to talk to hannah and mdm chia bout this... and as i say i cried... haiz... and i really feel better after talkin to hannah and mdm chia... its nice to know that they are still ppl who is willing to listen to me when i needed someone to talk to... and i know i didn't help out much for this x-change... so thats maybe y they feel that way... i'm really really sorry bout this...i know by sayin sorry is useless but i don't know wat else i can do other then sayin sorry... :'(
k guess i'll end here le... cos this post is like very long le...
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
9:55 PM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
i'm really sad now... so i just want to write out wat i'm thinkin of now..."seriously… I always ask myself wat if just left this world now… will anyone even know that I have left... will anyone notice that this someone is missin… a fren a godsis is gone… will they ever find the true me and try to understand me… will anyone rmb me at all… will they ever know that they mean so much to me…or that have someone even treasure me as a fren… sad to say I’ve nv get the ans I want… I nv will find frenz that will nv forget me… I nv will find ppl that knows how much they mean to me… i always find myself sittin there cryin thinkin if i really should continue livin... wats wrong with me that makes ppl hate me... wat must i do to change it..."
i really wish i can have ans to all this... :'(
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
11:23 PM
woke up at bout 10 today coz meetin my fren to go out...... i left the hse late... so i tot i will be late... but it ends up that it happen the other way round... haiz... but nvm... i'm use to waitin for ppl... hehe... first we went to bugis... after walkin around for bout 1 or 2 hrs i guess... we went to have lunch in the food junction... my fren had fu jian mian and i had curry... hehe... after that we went to orchard... went to wisma atria(sry not sure of da spellin) first... and i think my fren spend bout $50 over there buyin clothes... then we went to far east... and again she spend bout $20 over buyin shorts there... somemore want me to take neoprint with her... but i really don't feel like lei... haha... so i just tell her... i promise her next time i will take with her if we go out again... so we just walk around there till bout 5 something and went home... and bout the thing i mention ytd that made me unhappy... was actually a joke... i am really so pisst off when i heard that lor... its not funny lei... pls don't joke bout this kind of thing to me... haiz... tmr is the choir exchange with pierce already... kinda worry whether it will go well or not... coz this is the first time we r hostin... haiz... really hope everything goes well for tmr... don't want to make the slightest mistakes... or at least i will try not to make any mistakes lah... hehe... but so far i don't have any problems yet... hope it will be the same for tmr... i'll update bout it... tmr... for now... i need some sleep... so gtg...
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
7:40 PM
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
finally... its the last day of star programme... was very happy just now... after star programme... i went to post office then went home... on com... see 2 person that i have nv seen online since the day i add them... hehe... then one of the ask me who am i... lol... of coz i just say my name lor... haha... than this suddenly both of us have nothin to say...so i just say: if we have nothin to say then i would just off this conversation le...
then the person ans was like so bu suang lor...
so i ask him: wat happen...
the person say he's very pisst off becoz of wat one of his fenz...
so i ask: wat happen...
the person say someone told him that he hate me alot...
so i just reply: so... let it be lor... y hate me? and the person hate me also not u, y r u pisst off?
then he gave me the reply i hate most:i have to go now... tell u on monday...
i was like so wat lor... i really want to know wat happen... haiz... so i sms that person... that person nv even reply... haiz... now i'm the one who is pisst off.... and i'm really wondering if wat the person tell me is true mah... haiz... i really really want to know... haiz...
then bout the other person... i really nv see this person online b4 since i added him last yr... so i forgot who is that le... so i just ask him who is he lor... then he reply lah... then by the next 5 mins the person tell me that he needs to go le... and just went offline... i was like sittin there thinkin... y would u want to be online for 5 mins only... lol...
so until now... i still really want to know wat happen to make someone say they hate me... i'm really sad now... i really don't know y everyone also say they hate me... haiz... :'(
YTD
handphone line got cut off ytd... haiz... so ppl readin this pls don't msg me, till i tell u u can do so... sorry...
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
7:22 PM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
hmmm... went out with karling , li jun and li jun sister... went to meet karlin at 12.30 then went to eat then went to arcarde then at 2 go to mrt station look for li jun and her sis... then we went to bugis... then we went to far east... then back to AMK then back home for me... hehe... enjoy myself today... really i did... hehe... but they don't believe i did... coz i didn't really talk much also... hehe... cos got nothin to say mah... if got i surly will talk alot de... hehe... they haven't see the crazy side of me... hehe... but for now i feel very tired and sian... haiz... tmr still need to go to school... and its suppose to be holiday now lei... so for me i always say this yr MARCH HOLIDAYS=NO HOLIDAYS for me... hehe... haiz... guesss i should go and get sme rest le... or i will be sleepin in class tmr... hehe...Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
9:44 PM
Friday, March 10, 2006
haiz... today i ried for 2 hours... and my eyes r so pain now... many ppl ask me y... but i really don't know how to say lah... only can say there are many reasons... hehe...i didn't want to cry actually.... but something suddenly happen... that really made me sad... so i just cry everything out... haiz... there is reallly alot of reasons y i cry... so just don't ask... and i would like to say thanks to some of my frenz who accompanied me when i was cryin even though i nv tell ur y i cried... hehe... but actually some of ur guess correctly le... but i just didn't want to say it... so don't bother askin it le... haiz... :'(Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
5:15 PM
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
haiz... its been really sian for me this few days... nothin new.... just went and read a few blogs just now.... and the ones i enjoy most readin is my godsis and one of my fren from outside my sch now de... hehe... my godsis de is really very funny de... i still feel that its funny when i think of it now... hehe... this is wat i call entertainment... hehe... then my other fren de also very funny lah... thats y i like it... hehe... just now when i was chatin with my godsis in msn... i really laugh like crazy... she told me something that really make me feel that the person who did that is so stupid...(no offenece ar...) k maybe the person was just being lame... hehe... and now even when i think of it i still feel that its funny... hehe... welll guess ppl readin this might want to know wat she told me rite... hehe... welll its a secret... haha... no lah... i just don't want to type it out here... really want know... just ask then i will tell u... hehe... stupid rite... thats me... hehe...today, nothin special happen in school also... so nothin to say le... think i'll end here... i need to get some sleep... i'm really tired now... hehe...
Wh3n WiLl yOu St0p Br3aKiNg My h3aRt?
10:44 PM
